~The Rubáiyát of Omar Khayyám, translated into English in 1859 by Edward FitzGerald

This isn’t about denial or the search for the elixir of youth (although if you have found one, drop me a line!).  Getting older is part of the natural course of life.  It’s unavoidable.  It’s necessary to the cycle of growth and change – both at the individual and societal levels.  Nor do I fear the physical ageing process.  I don’t enjoy it.  I wish it wasn’t happening.  Sometimes I resent it.  But I don’t fear it.

Accepting that ageing is natural and inevitable does not, however, mean I need to speed it along.  Although I’m getting older, I don’t have to behave like I’m old.  I don’t need to let myself slow down, give in, seize up or tune out.

Are these things my prejudices about older people?  Maybe.  Am I peddling stereotypes of old people?  Probably.  But being cynical, cranky and closed makes anybody a drag.  Add age to the mix and, in my book, it gets worse by an order of magnitude.

What I fear about getting older is the idea that my turn could be over.  What I fear about ageing is the thought of giving up the things I love and that have sustained my life so far.  Like learning, having plans, growing, changing, challenging myself.  Like believing that it’s worth striving to make myself a better person and the world a better place.

But that’s where the magic lies.  I don’t have to give up those things.  If turning 50 means I’m on the downhill run, then it just means I can go at them faster.

I’m mostly vegetarian because it’s good for the planet, its healthy and because I don’t like industrial-scale production and slaughter of animals.  I do think humans are omnivorous.  However, I also think humans only need some meat, and not as the centre-piece of their diets.  So I keep my own consumption of meat to an occasional serving, mostly when I eat out.

My favourite vegetarian websites:

• Post Punk Kitchen:  I think I have all Isa Chandra Moskowitz’s books too.  Vegan rocks when you can’t eat dairy even if you wanted to.
• Kurma Dasa:  Watching Kurma’s TV series on SBS got me going with vegetarian cooking.
• Bittersweet:  A vegan blog, particularly specialising in desserts.
• Everyday Dish TV:  Online cooking show.  Nothing beats watching how a recipe works.
• Vegan Chef:  Name says it all.

And anyway, if it’s good enough for Albert, it’s good enough for me.

In one of those rare moments of personal insight, I understood immediately that I was too often trying to remedy daily ‘slackness’ with grand efforts.  It didn’t matter that I was sincere and well-meaning in all my goals, values and aspirations.  The reality was that my daily actions did not always reflect those intentions – and that meant I was letting myself down.

Part of the saying’s power is that it cuts both ways.  If you do the ‘right’ thing every day, whether it’s exercise, watching what you eat or behaving nicely, then a lapse once in a while won’t cause a meltdown.  One missed gym session in a month doesn’t mean you’re off the rails.  One slice of birthday cake in an otherwise sensible diet won’t mean your thighs rub together the next day.  One snappy moment won’t mean your friends will never speak to you again.

On the other hand, one marathon gym session won’t magically make up for daily sloth.  One salad won’t counteract habitual overindulgence.  One expensive birthday gift won’t make up for a year of neglect.

It’s the small, seemingly insignificant actions which, undertaken almost without fail – or not undertaken almost without fail – that add up to something big.  Fifteen kilos in lost weight.  A new personal best in the City to Bay fun run.  An clean, orderly home.  A mortgage paid down.  Being a valued colleague and team member.  Being a good friend.

It truly is a secret of adulthood.

Drawing on the results of research, the article suggests that willpower is primarily a function of the brain, and is subject to the brain’s limitations and requirements.  More specifically, the article cites research that indicates willpower is affected by what else your brain is dealing with – the more your prefrontal cortex is processing, the less ‘space’ there is for willpower.  Secondly, the brain requires energy to operate and willpower has been shown to decrease when energy levels are low.  Lastly, people who can distract themselves do better at resisting temptation – that is, willpower may be more about distraction than it is about sheer discipline.

The significance of all this is enormous.  Willpower is very often seen as a matter of character or, more particularly, an apparent ‘lack’ of willpower is often portrayed as weakness.  As a consequence we can feel like a failure if a resolution or new behaviour is proving difficult.  In addition, by believing willpower is simply a matter of discipline, we can inadvertently set ourselves up to fail.

The significance of the research about distraction is equally great.  Resisting temptation is not necessarily even a matter of willpower.  It may be as simple as being able to shift one’s attention away from the tempting thing toward something more suitable.

The article proposes the concept of a muscle as a better analogy for willpower.  Just as a muscle can build strength and capacity through practice, so can willpower.  Just as muscle needs energy to operate effectively, so does willpower.

So what does it mean for day-to-day life?  My take on the lessons are as follows:

• Don’t overload the brain by trying to focus on too many resolutions or new behaviours at once.  Just focus one or maybe two things at a time;
• Practice will build willpower capacity;
• Make sure the brain is getting the energy it needs for willpower to work – especially salient if dieting;
• Find ways of transferring attention away from temptation to something else, thereby reducing reliance on willpower alone;
• Most importantly, don’t label yourself a failure if you slip up and don’t give up.  Just reconsider what you need to do to create the conditions for willpower to succeed.

Not so bad, all things considered.

As I reported before, I have started this blog.  (And I warned you that I would shamelessly trumpet – and re-trumpet – every action I take.)  In truth, I need to keep posting regularly (three or more times per week) for this action to be counted as properly done.  So far, in the 11 days the blog has been running, I have posted something on eight of those days.  So I’m considering this one to be well on track – 50 per cent done.

I signed up on Facebook.  Not a biggie.  Just needed an email address and password.  However, what made the exercise memorable is that, as soon as my account had been verified, Facebook immediately identified five members of my family and asked me if I would like to invite them to be my friends.  That was scary.  I don’t mean asking family members to be friends was scary (although that might well be true!)  It was scary that Facebook seemed to already know who I am.  I assume they intended that I would feel welcome, as though I was already part of the community.  It actually felt creepy, like they were waiting for me.  Like the HAL 9000 of the web.  Like next they’ll be telling me who I should and shouldn’t be friends with.

My reason for putting Facebook on my list was to satisfy my curiosity – to see what this whole ‘Facebook thang’ is all about and to understand how it works.  So while I can cross this action off as being 100 per cent done, my curiosity has only been somewhat satisfied.  I’m still going to play around some more to see what Facebook can do and whether I actually find it interesting, fun or useful.

I also took myself off to see a movie.  Whoopty frickin’ do, I hear you say.  Well, my aim for the year is to see 6 movies at the cinema.  Which is one every couple of months.  Which is also about five more movies than I saw in the whole of last year.  So…I’m counting this item as 16 per cent done, and a small deal even if it isn’t a big deal.

I have also been scoping out options for doing some of the other things on my list.  But since this hasn’t entailed actually doing anything, apart from my usually preferred mode of simply thinking about things, I won’t mention them further!

* HAL, 2001: A Space Odyssey, cited from Wikiquote